CHECKING IN on Week 42: BOO!



Week 42‘s task was to grab your journal and list everything that scares you.

As a side bit of awareness, think about how you react to fear.  The reaction maybe different with different kinds of fears.   Do you laugh, cry, get angry, run, scream, freeze, fight, etc?  Go down your list and write your most typical reaction next to as many of your fears as  you can.

What does this have to do with a Lighter More Loving You?

If you’ve been following these tasks, you may be discovering that the more aware and mindful you are about your self, your thoughts, your reactions, the more you can pause and choose a different thought, way of being, or response that is more loving.

There are probably things on your list that are “normal” scary and your reaction to them are a typical human response (fight or flight).

Are there reactions or other fears you have that you wish you didn’t have?  Or that are causing issues in your emotional, mental, physical, social, professional, and spiritual life?  Reactions that you know, if you could change them, would bring you more peace, joy, fulfillment, or better health?

There may be physical reasons (chemical imbalance) or a big traumatic event that is causing the fears and anxieties. Those should be addressed and processed.

I’ve heard said that the only real fears we face are death and falling.  (Obviously all the skydivers I see from the skydiving school down the road from my home, have overcome or are facing these two fears.)

Death can mean physical death, but it can also mean death to our EGO…

  • the part of us that is defining who we are by past experiences;
  • the part of us who has taken on the job of keeping us safe;
  • the part that keeps us safe by trying to be better than others whether through titles, levels of success, money, etc.;
  • the part of us that keeps us safe by not wanting to have to look at unloving behaviors;
  • the part of us that wants to keep us safe at all costs and often to the detriment to health, relationships, and living a lighter more loving life;
  • the part that resists change because it (the EGO) fears its death!

Your true self or essence is untouchable and unchanged and it is full of all kinds of loving thoughts and ways.  The ego was formed, like many layers of blankets, over your true self or heart.  The layers were created by experiences that where fearful or painful with its total purpose to protect you, again, from the pain or fear.

None of us escapes painful and fearful experiences.  We all have blankets around our heart, our true essence.   It seems to be a life long process to take off the blankets in order to live the life we dream.

Love is paramount.  The more you love and trust you, the less fear you will have.

Here is a list of how fear expresses itself:

  • anger and passive aggression
  • jealousy and envy
  • comparing to see how measure up
  • anxious and impatience
  • criticism and judging others
  • very few boundaries
  • defensiveness
  • stubbornness
  • discord
  • suspicious
  • avoids truth or lies
  • greed or hordes
  • peace keeper (co-dependency)
  • unhappiness and depression
  • procrastination
  • over striving
  • seclusion and avoidance
  • smallness or low self-worth
  • guilt and shame
  • easily hurt or offended
  • attacking or blaming

Here is a list of how love expresses itself:

  • compassion
  • understanding
  • patience
  • acceptance
  • forgiving and seeks forgiveness
  • peace
  • harmony
  • seeks truth
  • peace maker
  • healthy boundaries
  • self-care
  • caring
  • commitment
  • open
  • daring
  • generous
  • service
  • empowering
  • joy
  • healthy self-esteem and self-worth
  • willingness
  • trust

Most if not all the tasks given in this series are to help see your fears, be curious about them, take a leap of faith, muster bravery, and live a fuller life.

Cheering You on to a Whole Brave Boo Loving Heart,





2018 Week 42: BOO!


Task 42 of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is BOO!

As today is Halloween with potentially scary looking children showing up at our doors, this week’s task is to grab your journal and list everything that scares you…EVERYTHING!

From spiders and snakes to heights and darkness.

From scary movies to public speaking.

From loud noises at night to growing old.

Take your time, as the more you list, the deeper you get to less conscious fears.

This week, make a nice, calming cup of tea and list your fears.

As a side bit of awareness, think about how you react to fear.  The reaction maybe different with different kinds of fears.   Do you laugh, cry, get angry, run, scream, freeze, fight, etc?  Go down your list and write your most typical reaction next to as many of your fears as  you can.

Cheering You on to a Whole BOO List Heart,




Checking in for Week 32’s task of TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF!

The task this week is to take a look at your BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries are guidelines on HOW TO LOVE YOU. 

(Of course they are also great for others to tell us how to love them, but for this week concentrate on knowing your boundaries.)

There is a verse in the bible, where Jesus is talking, and he is speaking of God here as well, that says,

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”  John 14:15-17  (NKJV)

This does not say I WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU KEEP MY COMMANDMENTS.  God already loves us and always will.  This is talking about HOW YOU CAN SHOW YOU LOVE HIM.

The same goes with loving our selves and other people.

Do you have guidelines for important areas of your life such as money, healthy, body, family, relationships, time, emotional and mental health, home, and so on?

Boundaries let YOU and OTHERS know how to love YOU.

Danny Silk, President and Co-Founder of Loving On Purpose Ministries, translates the above verse like this:

“I can see how much value you place on protecting my heart based on how  you treat what I told you is important to me.”

Your heart breaks, can feel betrayed, and looses trust every time you cross over one of your boundaries.  And sometimes this happens because there have been no boundaries set.


And I do know this is not always easy and can take years of trial and error to know what loving you may look like.  And I do know your boundaries can change over time, and in different circumstances, and with different people.   The thing is YOU NEED THEM and others need them from you.

I have learned over the years that “flying by the seat of my pants” on important areas of my life does not produce the best results.  Any time I have given my self a boundary or a guideline for something (i.e. health, body, relationship, or work goals), I was much lighter, more peaceful, more joyful, and more loving…and not to mention more productive and successful.

If you have experienced the same or have a boundary you’d like to share, please do so in the comments.

Take time this week to become more AWARE OF and JOURNAL ABOUT your boundaries.

Cheering You on to a Whole Protected Heart,





2018 Week 32: Take Your Shoes Off


Week 32’s task of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is to TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES…Please!

Maybe you or you have friends that like to have shoes removed when coming into the house.

No matter the reason for this, it is a BOUNDARY that has been set to come in to yours or their home.

This week, take a look at your boundaries.

Boundaries are limits, lines, parameters, that you set in regards to your

  • stuff,

  • emotions,

  • health,

  • body,

  • spirituality.

Loving your self and loving others takes BOUNDARIES.

Check out THIS ARTICLE for an easy, quick description of boundaries.

Setting boundaries are not always easy.  One of the tell-tale signs of needing a boundary is a negative emotion–anger, blame, anxiety, frustration, depression, etc. 

I was never the best at this, but the more I got to know my self, the easier it was to recognize the need to set a boundary, understand what I needed, and speak up. Taking the time to journal helped with this process.  Journaling is a great way to voice emotions, learn about your self and what you need, and to do it in a safe place…your journal!

This week, take a look at your boundaries.  

Do you have a negative emotion floating around in you that might be telling you that a boundary is needed OR one that needs to be updated?

While BOUNDARIES sound LIMITING, it actually allows for more freedom and love. Feel free to share in the comments how you found that to be true in your life!

Cheering You on to a Whole Boundary Loved Heart,