CHECKING IN on Week 42: BOO!

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Week 42‘s task was to grab your journal and list everything that scares you.

As a side bit of awareness, think about how you react to fear.  The reaction maybe different with different kinds of fears.   Do you laugh, cry, get angry, run, scream, freeze, fight, etc?  Go down your list and write your most typical reaction next to as many of your fears as  you can.

What does this have to do with a Lighter More Loving You?

If you’ve been following these tasks, you may be discovering that the more aware and mindful you are about your self, your thoughts, your reactions, the more you can pause and choose a different thought, way of being, or response that is more loving.

There are probably things on your list that are “normal” scary and your reaction to them are a typical human response (fight or flight).

Are there reactions or other fears you have that you wish you didn’t have?  Or that are causing issues in your emotional, mental, physical, social, professional, and spiritual life?  Reactions that you know, if you could change them, would bring you more peace, joy, fulfillment, or better health?

There may be physical reasons (chemical imbalance) or a big traumatic event that is causing the fears and anxieties. Those should be addressed and processed.

I’ve heard said that the only real fears we face are death and falling.  (Obviously all the skydivers I see from the skydiving school down the road from my home, have overcome or are facing these two fears.)

Death can mean physical death, but it can also mean death to our EGO…

  • the part of us that is defining who we are by past experiences;
  • the part of us who has taken on the job of keeping us safe;
  • the part that keeps us safe by trying to be better than others whether through titles, levels of success, money, etc.;
  • the part of us that keeps us safe by not wanting to have to look at unloving behaviors;
  • the part of us that wants to keep us safe at all costs and often to the detriment to health, relationships, and living a lighter more loving life;
  • the part that resists change because it (the EGO) fears its death!

Your true self or essence is untouchable and unchanged and it is full of all kinds of loving thoughts and ways.  The ego was formed, like many layers of blankets, over your true self or heart.  The layers were created by experiences that where fearful or painful with its total purpose to protect you, again, from the pain or fear.

None of us escapes painful and fearful experiences.  We all have blankets around our heart, our true essence.   It seems to be a life long process to take off the blankets in order to live the life we dream.

Love is paramount.  The more you love and trust you, the less fear you will have.

Here is a list of how fear expresses itself:

  • anger and passive aggression
  • jealousy and envy
  • comparing to see how measure up
  • anxious and impatience
  • criticism and judging others
  • very few boundaries
  • defensiveness
  • stubbornness
  • discord
  • suspicious
  • avoids truth or lies
  • greed or hordes
  • peace keeper (co-dependency)
  • unhappiness and depression
  • procrastination
  • over striving
  • seclusion and avoidance
  • smallness or low self-worth
  • guilt and shame
  • easily hurt or offended
  • attacking or blaming

Here is a list of how love expresses itself:

  • compassion
  • understanding
  • patience
  • acceptance
  • forgiving and seeks forgiveness
  • peace
  • harmony
  • seeks truth
  • peace maker
  • healthy boundaries
  • self-care
  • caring
  • commitment
  • open
  • daring
  • generous
  • service
  • empowering
  • joy
  • healthy self-esteem and self-worth
  • willingness
  • trust

Most if not all the tasks given in this series are to help see your fears, be curious about them, take a leap of faith, muster bravery, and live a fuller life.

Cheering You on to a Whole Brave Boo Loving Heart,
Barbara 

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2018 Week 42: BOO!

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Task 42 of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is BOO!

As today is Halloween with potentially scary looking children showing up at our doors, this week’s task is to grab your journal and list everything that scares you…EVERYTHING!

From spiders and snakes to heights and darkness.

From scary movies to public speaking.

From loud noises at night to growing old.

Take your time, as the more you list, the deeper you get to less conscious fears.

This week, make a nice, calming cup of tea and list your fears.

As a side bit of awareness, think about how you react to fear.  The reaction maybe different with different kinds of fears.   Do you laugh, cry, get angry, run, scream, freeze, fight, etc?  Go down your list and write your most typical reaction next to as many of your fears as  you can.

Cheering You on to a Whole BOO List Heart,
Barbara

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CHECK IN Week 41: Thumber

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This week’s task was to follow THUMBER’S advice and SAY NOTHIN’ negative, sarcastic, or mean OUT LOUD in regards to your body, weight, face, hair, etc, or about food, calories, eating/drinking this or that.

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How is that going?  Are you catching yourself?  Are you noticing how often you say something in your thoughts that are not kind and loving about your body or food?  Are you noticing it from others?

If you are being more aware of your self talk around your body and food, can you dig a little deeper and discover what feeling is behind the thoughts/comments?

Our culture is saturated with body image “requirements”.  So much so, that people become obsessed with their body.  Since one of the things that effects the body is food, it is logical that the obsession with food also exists.

Think for a minute, what could somebody believe about themselves if they don’t meet the many cultural body image “requirements”?

  • not beautiful
  • won’t be accepted
  • un-lovable
  • not enough
  • unhealthy
  • ?

Fear is the culprit to saying unkind things about our self or food.  Fear is the culprit that leads us to do unhealthy things to our body and with food.

Fear comes because we are believing what culture (or some unloving human) says about who we should be or how we should look.

How does one cast out the fear?  LOVE!

To realign our bodies and any negative relationship with food, love is needed. 

  • To love your body just as it is at any given moment…every ounce, every scar, every wrinkle. Being grateful for all the parts of your body is a good way to start.
  • To understand that food and eating is self-care and self-love, not something to be used as a coping skill or a punishment.  And that food is not something to fear.
  • To understand that you are more than the weight on a scale or a pant size.  I have yet to find a scale that will tell me I have a good sense of humor or how compassionate I am.
  • To understand what your body loves…like what kinds of food makes it feel  energized and healthy and what kind of exercise does your body love to do.  (Not every body is the same.  I have a friend who loves running.  My body does not  love to run, but it loves walking and yoga.)
  • To remember you are more than your body, hair, face, etc.  You, the real you, is your spirit, your essence.  If you were blind from birth, how would you know a beautiful person?
  • On a spiritual level, God says you are already loved and perfect in your imperfections.   If you lived and choose from already being loved and imperfectly perfect, what would you be doing?  How would you be living?  So many people are living from the fear they aren’t lovable until _____(fill in with your thing…weigh a certain amount, look a certain way)_______ or at all because they don’t meet some cultural standard.

A ‘Lighter More Loving You in this area looks like…

  • recognition of fear driven body image beliefs and behaviors,
  • Thumber-ing…stopping the negative talk out loud in regards to your body or food, and
  • cultivating a new set of loving thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors around your body and food.

Cheering You on to a Whole Cast Out Fear With Love Heart,
Barbara

 

 

 

 

2018 Week 41: Thumber

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Week 41’s task of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is Thumber.

Thumber, from the Disney movie Bambi, said one of the most quoted lines ever…

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I have a pet-peeve…how often people, and especially women, will talk about their weight, face, hair, body, skin, eyes, nose, you name it, in a disparaging way.   Or how often someone will comment about how they shouldn’t eat/drink this or that, or how eating/drinking this or that is going to end up on their hips, stomach, thighs, etc. Or a negative or sarcastic comment about the amount of calories in something.

It’s probably a pet-peeve because I was terrible at this, whether I spoke it out loud or in my mind.  It sure made it hard to enjoy parties or holidays…and sometimes eating in general!!  It made it hard to like my body or how I looked… and often myself in general.  I felt like I was in a constant battle. Fighting does not fix anything…only love heals.

This being no way to live, 10 years ago I said no more talking this way out loud or in my head about my body or food.  Once this became my norm…saying nothin’ and being much more kind and loving about my body and food…then things changed.  I became lighter physically and mentally.  This freed up a lot of energy and freed me to make choices that were more loving for my body.

I was in this battle a long time. This is a process and can take time to settle and heal. Last week’s task and this week’s task are a good place to start.

 

This week your task is to follow THUMBER’S advice and SAY NOTHIN’ negative, sarcastic, or mean OUT LOUD in regards to your body, weight, face, hair, etc, or about food, calories, eating/drinking this or that.

Take notice of how often you say something in your head...and maybe how often you hear others say something.

Cheering You on to a Whole Thumber’s Advice Heart,
Barbara

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