Week 42‘s task was to grab your journal and list everything that scares you.

As a side bit of awareness, think about how you react to fear.  The reaction maybe different with different kinds of fears.   Do you laugh, cry, get angry, run, scream, freeze, fight, etc?  Go down your list and write your most typical reaction next to as many of your fears as  you can.

What does this have to do with a Lighter More Loving You?

If you’ve been following these tasks, you may be discovering that the more aware and mindful you are about your self, your thoughts, your reactions, the more you can pause and choose a different thought, way of being, or response that is more loving.

There are probably things on your list that are “normal” scary and your reaction to them are a typical human response (fight or flight).

Are there reactions or other fears you have that you wish you didn’t have?  Or that are causing issues in your emotional, mental, physical, social, professional, and spiritual life?  Reactions that you know, if you could change them, would bring you more peace, joy, fulfillment, or better health?

There may be physical reasons (chemical imbalance) or a big traumatic event that is causing the fears and anxieties. Those should be addressed and processed.

I’ve heard said that the only real fears we face are death and falling.  (Obviously all the skydivers I see from the skydiving school down the road from my home, have overcome or are facing these two fears.)

Death can mean physical death, but it can also mean death to our EGO…

• the part of us that is defining who we are by past experiences;
• the part of us who has taken on the job of keeping us safe;
• the part that keeps us safe by trying to be better than others whether through titles, levels of success, money, etc.;
• the part of us that keeps us safe by not wanting to have to look at unloving behaviors;
• the part of us that wants to keep us safe at all costs and often to the detriment to health, relationships, and living a lighter more loving life;
• the part that resists change because it (the EGO) fears its death!

Your true self or essence is untouchable and unchanged and it is full of all kinds of loving thoughts and ways.  The ego was formed, like many layers of blankets, over your true self or heart.  The layers were created by experiences that where fearful or painful with its total purpose to protect you, again, from the pain or fear.

None of us escapes painful and fearful experiences.  We all have blankets around our heart, our true essence.   It seems to be a life long process to take off the blankets in order to live the life we dream.

Love is paramount.  The more you love and trust you, the less fear you will have.

Here is a list of how fear expresses itself:

• anger and passive aggression
• jealousy and envy
• comparing to see how measure up
• anxious and impatience
• criticism and judging others
• very few boundaries
• defensiveness
• stubbornness
• discord
• suspicious
• avoids truth or lies
• greed or hordes
• peace keeper (co-dependency)
• unhappiness and depression
• procrastination
• over striving
• seclusion and avoidance
• smallness or low self-worth
• guilt and shame
• easily hurt or offended
• attacking or blaming

Here is a list of how love expresses itself:

• compassion
• understanding
• patience
• acceptance
• forgiving and seeks forgiveness
• peace
• harmony
• seeks truth
• peace maker
• healthy boundaries
• self-care
• caring
• commitment
• open
• daring
• generous
• service
• empowering
• joy
• healthy self-esteem and self-worth
• willingness
• trust

Most if not all the tasks given in this series are to help see your fears, be curious about them, take a leap of faith, muster bravery, and live a fuller life.

Cheering You on to a Whole Brave Boo Loving Heart,
Barbara