CHECK IN for Week Six: Use the F** Bomb

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Week Six to a Lighter More Loving You was to USE THE F** BOMB!!

To use the BOMB of FORGIVENESS to lighten, and even heal, your emotional, physical, and spiritual life.

More specifically, you were to LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE and then FORGIVE.

Mother Theresa says we can not learn to love till we learn how to forgive. I hope you read something about how to forgive or tried the guidelines from WEEK SIX’s post.


I’m not too keen on the word BOMB for this task, though I’m hoping it may have gotten your attention.  I have never found anything changes when you “fight” or “war” against it…especially yourself.

FORGIVENESS DOES HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE.

It can free you from all kinds of past hurts, resentments, anger, shame, guilt, and self loathing, just to name a few of the “inside stuff” that keeps us from…

  • being who we were meant to be
  • successful in any endeavor
  • persistence in obtaining our intentions/goals
  • endurance instead of self sabotaging
  • being motivated instead of giving excuses
  • being healthy
  • loving others
  • being loved.

FORGIVENESS is far from “fighting”, “warring,” or bombing.  It is a boat load of HUMILITY and POWERLESSNESS.

If you take the guidelines from the last post and do them with a trusted person (see below if you’d like to walk through this process with me) or in your journal, what happens as you list the things that you’d like to forgive another for, and truly forgive them, is:

  • there is a release of that person’s or memory’s hold on you,
  • you will see from a totally different perspective—one that you may have been holding onto for so long that it takes you totally by surprise,
  • you may come to realize, they were doing the best that they could at that time, instead of thinking they should have known better.   This can even happen with horrific/terrible events that have happened in your life,
  • a large amount of compassion starts to well up for them, and
  • your own shortcomings and need of forgiveness will arise.

This is very humbling. Going through the guidelines with your self will be essential.

FORGIVENESS TAKES COURAGE because it is Letting Go, Surrender, Total POWERLESSNESS.


Blessed are the merciful: they shall have mercy shown them.  –Matthew 5:7

Here are a few words from Richard Rohr, who was writing about this verse in the bible (if you’d like to read his entire post click HERE):

The mystery of forgiveness is God’s ultimate entry into powerlessness. Withholding forgiveness is a form of power over another person, a way to manipulate, shame, control, and diminish another…

Even not forgiving ourselves:

We are the ones who instead clutch at our sins and beat ourselves instead of surrendering to the divine mercy. Refusing to be forgiven is a form of pride. It’s saying, “I’m better than mercy. I’m only going to accept it when I’m worthy and can preserve my so-called self-esteem.” Only the humble person, the little one, can live in and after mercy…

We do not attain anything by our own holiness but by ten thousand surrenders to mercy. A lifetime of received forgiveness allows us to become mercy: That’s the Beatitude. We become what we receive, what we allow into our hearts. Mercy becomes our energy and purpose. Perhaps we are finally enlightened and free when we can both receive it and give it away—without payment or punishment.


What forgiveness does not do is excuse anyone’s hurtful or unloving behavior.  Forgiving someone does not mean that a behavior was “correct” or not deserve justice.  Forgiving someone does not mean you have to hang out with them and be best buds.  Forgiving means you have let go of your own retribution, justice, or even a need for an apology.

Of all the tasks for the 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You, this is the most powerful and potentially the hardest.  Learn about forgiveness, learn how to forgive, then forgive.

Cheering You On to a Whole Forgiven & Forgiving Heart,

Barbara

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PS  If you would like to walk through the Forgiving Forward process with me, email me.  We can do this via the phone.  

2018 Week Six: Use the F** Bomb

imagesThis week’s task of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is to use the F** Bomb!!

WHAT???  REALLY???

Yes!

It’s not what you think.

The F** Bomb is FORGIVENESS!  The task this week is to LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT HOW TO FORGIVE and then FORGIVE!


If we really want to love we must LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE.  –Mother Theresa

The optimal words in the quote is LEARN HOW TO.  Forgiving does not come naturally to most of us.  And for those who it does, I’d dare say, they have been learning and practicing forgiveness for sometime.

Study any “spiritual” discipline, and FORGIVENESS is always in the doctrines of their practice.  No doubt, you all know that it is important.

I’m sure you know some of the benefits of forgiveness:

  • great peace
  • release of anger and resentments
  • happiness
  • a physical, emotional and mental lightness…even healing
  • freedom
  • a better future
  • better health
  • more compassion, mercy and grace
  • more love

The thing is, do you know how to forgive?

One of the best things I did in my spiritual walk was attend a class called FORGIVING FORWARD.  (Here is a link to the Forgiving Forward site  LINK  )

The process they taught for forgiveness was this:

  1. Thank God for forgiving you.
  2. Ask God, “Who do I need to forgive and for what?”
  3. Repent of your unforgiveness.
  4. Forgive each offense from your heart.
    • Lord, I choose to forgive _______ from my heart for _______.
    • Lord, is there anything else I need to forgive ______ for?
    • I declare ______ is no longer in my debt.
  5. Ask God to bless them and look for ways to bless them when possible.
  6. Commit to “not remembering” the offense.  When the memory comes…
    • Say, “I specifically remember forgiving that.”
    • Praise God for the freedom forgiveness brought you.
    • Bless the person you forgave again.
    • Pray for reconciliation.
  7. Make pre-forgiveness a lifestyle.

This was a Christian training, yet the outline is a great start for anyone wanting to Lighten Up.

It can be helpful to work through this with a trusted person.  I have found that journaling through this set of guidelines also works.

I’d like to say more about the steps here, but I’ll wait till the CHECK IN!

Encouraging you to a Whole Peaceful F** Bombed Heart,

Barbara

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