Category Archives: Boundaries

2018 Week 45: Hall Pass

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Week 45’s task of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is Hall Pass.

I wonder if schools still use Hall Pass’s…the PERMISSION SLIP one needed from a teacher to go to the bathroom, library, nurse, office or some other place in school.   They signified that one had permission to be wondering the halls during class time.

This week your task is to give your self a HALL PASS…or two!

The holiday season is upon us.  There is a certain frenetic energy that happens between now and New Year’s Day.  Even if one has worked hard at simplifying things, including the holidays, there still seems to be an energy that puts us in GO MODE and STRESS whether due to things to do, places to go, or family dynamics.

Many years ago, when I got married, someone told me to make sure I relaxed and enjoyed the day, to not worry about logistics and things like that.  If I didn’t get “present” and totally into the day, it would pass by with great speed and little enjoyment.

That was such great advice and this can be carried right over into this time of year.

What can you give yourself PERMISSION TO DO, your HALL PASS, through this holiday season to be sure you go through it relaxed and present?

Maybe…

  • quiet times
  • early bed times
  • not having to have everything perfect
  • gift shopping on-line
  • delegate tasks
  • say no to some holiday event invitations
  • soak in a tub with candles
  • enjoy your events without worrying if others are enjoying it
  • remember to be grateful
  • limit the amount of money spent on gifts
  • skip sending Christmas cards
  • take a walk

Take time this week to WRITE OUT your HALL PASS(ES) and give yourself PERMISSION to follow them through.

My HALL PASS is that I will not write CHECK IN’s for these last 5 tasks.

Share some of your HALL PASSES in the comments and inspire others.

Cheering You on to a Whole Relaxed and Present Hall Pass Heart,
Barbara

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CHECK IN for Week 32: TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF

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Checking in for Week 32’s task of TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF!

The task this week is to take a look at your BOUNDARIES.

Boundaries are guidelines on HOW TO LOVE YOU. 

(Of course they are also great for others to tell us how to love them, but for this week concentrate on knowing your boundaries.)

There is a verse in the bible, where Jesus is talking, and he is speaking of God here as well, that says,

“If you love Me, keep My commandments.”  John 14:15-17  (NKJV)

This does not say I WILL LOVE YOU IF YOU KEEP MY COMMANDMENTS.  God already loves us and always will.  This is talking about HOW YOU CAN SHOW YOU LOVE HIM.

The same goes with loving our selves and other people.

Do you have guidelines for important areas of your life such as money, healthy, body, family, relationships, time, emotional and mental health, home, and so on?

Boundaries let YOU and OTHERS know how to love YOU.

Danny Silk, President and Co-Founder of Loving On Purpose Ministries, translates the above verse like this:

“I can see how much value you place on protecting my heart based on how  you treat what I told you is important to me.”

Your heart breaks, can feel betrayed, and looses trust every time you cross over one of your boundaries.  And sometimes this happens because there have been no boundaries set.

This is why it is so important to KNOW YOUR GUIDELINES, TO KNOW WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, and TO SPEAK THEM TO YOUR SELF and OTHERS.

And I do know this is not always easy and can take years of trial and error to know what loving you may look like.  And I do know your boundaries can change over time, and in different circumstances, and with different people.   The thing is YOU NEED THEM and others need them from you.

I have learned over the years that “flying by the seat of my pants” on important areas of my life does not produce the best results.  Any time I have given my self a boundary or a guideline for something (i.e. health, body, relationship, or work goals), I was much lighter, more peaceful, more joyful, and more loving…and not to mention more productive and successful.

If you have experienced the same or have a boundary you’d like to share, please do so in the comments.

Take time this week to become more AWARE OF and JOURNAL ABOUT your boundaries.

Cheering You on to a Whole Protected Heart,

Barbara

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2018 Week 32: Take Your Shoes Off

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Week 32’s task of 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You is to TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES…Please!

Maybe you or you have friends that like to have shoes removed when coming into the house.

No matter the reason for this, it is a BOUNDARY that has been set to come in to yours or their home.

This week, take a look at your boundaries.

Boundaries are limits, lines, parameters, that you set in regards to your

  • stuff,

  • emotions,

  • health,

  • body,

  • spirituality.

Loving your self and loving others takes BOUNDARIES.

Check out THIS ARTICLE for an easy, quick description of boundaries.

Setting boundaries are not always easy.  One of the tell-tale signs of needing a boundary is a negative emotion–anger, blame, anxiety, frustration, depression, etc. 

I was never the best at this, but the more I got to know my self, the easier it was to recognize the need to set a boundary, understand what I needed, and speak up. Taking the time to journal helped with this process.  Journaling is a great way to voice emotions, learn about your self and what you need, and to do it in a safe place…your journal!

This week, take a look at your boundaries.  

Do you have a negative emotion floating around in you that might be telling you that a boundary is needed OR one that needs to be updated?

While BOUNDARIES sound LIMITING, it actually allows for more freedom and love. Feel free to share in the comments how you found that to be true in your life!

Cheering You on to a Whole Boundary Loved Heart,
Barbara

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