CHECK IN for Week Six: Use the F** Bomb

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Week Six to a Lighter More Loving You was to USE THE F** BOMB!!

To use the BOMB of FORGIVENESS to lighten and even heal your emotion, physical, and spiritual life.

More specifically, you were to LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE and then FORGIVE.

Mother Theresa says we can not learn to love till we learn how to forgive. I hope you read something about how to forgive or tried the guidelines from WEEK SIX’s post.


I’m not too keen on the word BOMB for this task, though I’m hoping it may have gotten your attention!!!  I have never found anything changes when you “fight” or “war” against anything…especially your self.

FORGIVENESS DOES HAVE POWER TO CHANGE, HOWEVER!

It can free you from all kinds of past hurts, resentments, anger, shame, guilt, and self loathing, just to name a few of the “inside stuff” that keeps us from…

  • being who we were meant to be
  • successful in any endeavor
  • persistence in obtaining our intentions/goals
  • endurance instead of self sabotaging
  • being motivated instead of giving excuses
  • being healthy
  • loving others
  • being loved.

FORGIVENESS is far from “fighting”, “warring” or bombing.  It is a boat load of HUMILITY and POWERLESSNESS!

If you take the guidelines from the last post and do them with a trusted person (see below if you’d like to walk through this process with me) or in your journal, what happens as you list the things that you’d like to forgive another for and truly forgiving them is:

  • there is a release of that person’s or memory’s hold on you,
  • you will see from a totally different perspective, and one that you may have been holding onto for so long that it takes you totally by surprise,
  • you may come to realize they were doing the best that they could at that time, instead of thinking they should have known better.   This can even happen with horrific/terrible events or interactions with someone that have happened in your life,
  • a large amount of compassion starts to well up for them, and
  • your  own shortcomings and need of forgiveness will arise.

This is very humbling. Going through the guidelines with your self will be essential.


FORGIVENESS TAKES COURAGE because it is Letting Go, Surrender, Total POWERLESSNESS.

Blessed are the merciful: they shall have mercy shown them.  –Matthew 5:7

Here are a few words from Richard Rohr, who was writing about this verse in the bible (if you’d like to read his entire post click HERE):

The mystery of forgiveness is God’s ultimate entry into powerlessness. Withholding forgiveness is a form of power over another person, a way to manipulate, shame, control, and diminish another…

Even not forgiving ourselves:

We are the ones who instead clutch at our sins and beat ourselves instead of surrendering to the divine mercy. Refusing to be forgiven is a form of pride. It’s saying, “I’m better than mercy. I’m only going to accept it when I’m worthy and can preserve my so-called self-esteem.” Only the humble person, the little one, can live in and after mercy…

We do not attain anything by our own holiness but by ten thousand surrenders to mercy. A lifetime of received forgiveness allows us to become mercy: That’s the Beatitude. We become what we receive, what we allow into our hearts. Mercy becomes our energy and purpose. Perhaps we are finally enlightened and free when we can both receive it and give it away—without payment or punishment.

What forgiveness does not do is excuse anyone’s hurtful or unloving behavior.  Forgiving someone does not mean that a behavior was “correct” or not deserve justice.  Forgiving someone does not mean you have to hang out with them and be best buds.  Forgiving means you have let go of your own retribution, justice, or even a need for an apology.

Of all the tasks for the 50 Weeks to a Lighter More Loving You, this is the most powerful and potentially the hardest.  Learn about forgiveness, learn how to forgive, then forgive.

Cheering You On to a Whole Forgiven & Forgiving Heart,

Barbara

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PS  If you would like to walk through the Forgiving Forward process with me, email me.  We can do this via the phone.  

 

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